I don't know why I have the sudden urge to do everything right. The house has to meet a certain threshold of organization, the Christmas decorations must be up before Thanksgiving and just perfect, Thanksgiving must be planned and executed according to plan, N's birthday must be beautiful, must get the right cake, must decorate correctly according to mental plan. Christmas presents must be bought and must arrive before Christmas Eve, presents must have a personal touch. Even then, I am critical about how i could have done things better, planned better, gotten started earlier, etc.
Heck, it's not like anybody is grading me. But I like it when people notice I've done a good job. There is no excuse for not getting stuff done. If there's not enough time, then stop watching TV, stop wasting time somewhere else, but get it done. I am the conserver of traditions, and the CEO of this family.
I want to be the best of two worlds: the stay-at-home mom who is working full-time.
If only I could apply such dedication and such performance to my studies, I'd be less stressed all the time! Schoolwork is coming in second to home life right now. It's a unique year, when else will I have as much time as now with a full-time paycheck?
Let's see if 2008 is better than 2007...
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"To see a world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wildflower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour."
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