I was filled again yesterday.
The nurse had told me that after the initial fill, due to the design of the lapband, after 7-10 days it is possible to feel hungry again. I was just to call and make an appt to fill a little more. This happens because it is a closed system and sometimes small amounts of air get trapped. As the air permeates out of the system, you are left a little less full than when initially filled. I did notice I was starting to eat the same amounts as before I was filled and after the placement of the lapband: not as much as before the surgery, but much more than how the band was supposed to allow me. I was disappointed and frustrated because I wasn't losing as much or as quickly as I wanted to. So I called yesterday and they accomodated me yesterday afternoon.
This time, the fill is done in the office. It was not supposed to hurt. But the doc hit a "stomach nerve" and I started yelling a little bit (well, I AM a big baby, so what?). They had to administer some lidocaine (another needle) in order to continue the fill. This has happened to me when I inject insulin, sometimes you hit nerves, but I go slowly and as soon as I feel it, I pull it out and try another site. The doc just kept the needle there so the nerve was screaming bloody murder. These things happen, I just had the bad luck yesterday it happened to me. Yes, it was a bit traumatizing and I had some bruising, but I survived : )
Initially, I had been filled to 2.2 cc and yesterday's fill brought me up to 2.6 cc. Not a big difference, but enough for me to feel the difference. They gave me water to make sure liquids could go down, and took a bit out when I told them I could feel the water getting a bit stuck. I am back to 48 hrs of liquids, 48 hrs mushy food, and then solids again.
The nurse told me I should not be hungry in the morning when waking up, and that when I do eat, I should get full with half a sandwich. !!! In my life have I been full with half a sandwich! I'm looking forward to it! My goal is to see food as sustenance, not as a pleasure. I don't WANT to enjoy food, I just want to eat what I need to.
I have a theory: Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE has issues with food. Skinny people, fat people, old people, young people, everyone. Whether it is that sweet tooth, or a late night snack, or hiding snacks, not being honest with themselves about how much they eat, or thinking about food all the time or not at all, or the obsession with organic foods, vegetarianism, you name it, everyone has a THING with food. Most people never have to deal with their issues, they just live and die with them. I have to. I have to deal with every single issue surrounding food if I want this whole project to work out.
Believe me, I did not believe I had SO many issues with food. I knew I had a problem, but I thought getting the lap band would solve most if not all of them. I thought being physically satiated would be the solution. WRONG! True, the hunger is no longer physical. But not being physically hungry allowed me to see I had other levels of food issues. "Why am I looking for something to put in my mouth if I JUST ATE and can't be hungry?" "Why can't I leave food on my plate?" "Why can't I stop when I know I should be full?" "Why am I EATING this if I don't really want to!?"
So I decided I need help. I want to neutralize as many of my issues as possible to ensure long-term success. I have an appt tomorrow with a Psy.D. psychologist for behavior modification. I have never been to a psychologist, but I am open to this. I want to attack each of my issues and pow! pow! get rid of them.
I'm very excited about this! I hope she has a red leather couch and a window, the way I picture all psychologists...
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4 comments:
Damaris, I believe in your comment about the food issue that everyone has...and if they say they don't, they are lying! Especially where we live, meaning the US, where food is so abundant, we have problems. I know I have my own, and my family has theirs! Good for you to have this detailed blog...maybe you can help someone who wants to know what the process is like! Write more and don't give up!
Thanks MA! This whole process is not easy, but that shouldn't stop anybody from doing something...
D! Tengo que aplaudir esto que escribiste. Ultimamente le he estado dedicando pensamiento a esto. El primer problema que enfrentamos es que nunca aprendemos a comer de manera correcta. desde niños nos premian y nos consuelan con dulces. En navidades sufrí una rebelión y me acusaron de malcriada. Tuve mi cena de navidad y salí a realizar unas visitas de gente que deseaba saludar y comenzó el ofrecimiento de comida en todas partes. Dije "ya cené", y me dijeron "pero bendito, tu no me puedes dejar la comida", mira es solo un poco, prueba el lechón." dije: "¿que parte de gracias, ya cené, fue la que no entendiste?." A partir de ese momento ofendí de muerte a mi amiga. ¿Puedes creer? Yo no necesitaba un apice mas de comida en mi cuerpo, y ultimamente sufro de dolores de estomago y diarreas frecuentes que me hacen sospechar que mi vesicula ha sufrido daños por mis malos habitos de alimentación. Estoy cien por ciento de acuerdo contigo. Te felicito y quiero que me mantengas al tanto. Reconocerlo es parte, pero tomar acción es casi una garantía de triunfo... YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!
Glori, es tan dificil cuando socialmente todo revuelve alrededor de la comida: fiestas, salidas, familia, buen rato con amigos. Sigo intentando, sigo ahi, pero es taaan dificil....
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