I was looking at old photographs from China and Greece and everywhere in between and thought how far away that life seems to me now! A life of contant travel, where I had to lay in bed wondering where exactly I was that day. A life so far away from family I considered myself lucky to speak with my parents once a week, finding it so hard to describe everything we had seen or done.
Adal and I lived in virtual isolation from everything that was familiar; friendly faces, friendly voices, languages we understood. We only had ourselves to rely on, which made it very scary if we ever argued. I always had the thought running through my mind: I hope I didn't piss him off so much that he will leave me here alone in this god-forsaken place!
It got very lonely for us. I think we made the time pass faster by doing things. Shopping, antiquing, travelling, partying, going out to eat, going out to meet friends, anything. I think it did us good.
To meet people now that have never lived anywhere except their city or have never traveled overseas before is so strange to me. I can't understand why anybody would not want to travel to as many places as they can.
Now my biggest fear is having to take N far away from our family. There is always the possibility I may be assigned somewhere overseas, and eventually it WILL happen. How will I bear to tear her away from the little family she's able to see? This is something I haven't been able to resolve in my head. It doesn't seem fair that our little family is relegated to a nomadic existence. These last two years I have escaped my reality by concentrating on being pregnant, giving birth, and taking care of N, but I have to wake up and smell the coffee. Our life will not be normal.
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