The Post Op Update

The surgery was a success.

Everything went great! I arrived at the hospital early after dropping off N at the daycare and my mom and I joked until they gave me the special cocktail. Mom says I was acting like a drunk as I gave her my hearing aids and glasses. I do sort of remember starting to come out of it as they were removing the breathing tube which was a little unpleasant. I was very emotional when I woke up, sobbing very hard and almost uncontrollably, which apparently can be a side effect of some anesthesia types. The most ironic part is I distinctly remember them wheeling me through a hallway that was probably close to the cafeteria, because I was so overwhelmed by the smell of food that all I could think about was how hungry I was!! Maybe they should have removed the smelling portion of my nose while they were at it...

I was able to sip water and suck on ice very soon after surgery, which is an indication that all it well with the band and the placement. That night I was able to stand by myself and walk to the bathroom in my hospital room. Of course, there were a lot of painkillers moving intravenously through my system, so I'm sure that helped. The next afternoon I was home! I was able to walk up the stairs okay. Every day brings huge improvement. I made it to the other side...

Takeoff!!

This is it. I am packed and ready to go. Only 6 oz of clear liquids until 10:30 am, so I have just a cup of black coffee in my system. Extra strength expresso black gold to keep me going.

I have been overwhelmed by the immense outpouring of good wishes by friends and family. I think everyone understands how important this is to me and what a drastic change it will make in my life. I am hoping that right now this will be the heaviest weight (and most unhealthy) I will ever be for the rest of my life. But I still can't wrap my head around being a normal weight. I can't even imagine being 75 lbs lighter, much less 150.

But today it is not about that. Today is about making sure I tell everyone how much I love them and appreciate the support. Today is about not living in regret. No matter what happens, I can never say I regretted my decisions.

I'll see you on the other side!

Nerves are getting to me!!!

Okay, now I’m getting nervous. Friends are calling and e-mailing me good luck, and that’s making me real nervous. Luckily I’m so hungry, I’m a bit disoriented, so everything is kind of dream-like. I will try to squeeze in one more post tomorrow before leaving for the hospital…

For those REALLY interested, here’s a great video of the operation.

T minus one day!

Tomorrow is the operation. I am getting antsy. I feel like I didn’t get all I wanted to get done. Christmas decorations are still up, for crissakes!!! Laundry is clean, but unfolded. My mom’s flight was delayed, but not too bad. I’ll be going soon to pick her up. Inaru had a blast at Finding Nemo yesterday!!! I always forget how commercial those shows are, but this one wasn’t so bad. The whole underwater theme, the lights, the costumes, the music, the dancing, the skating was all perfect. And the view from the third row from the ice was not bad either. Inaru stayed still and watched the whole thing. It was a perfect family outing. I think it was a little too much for A, but we went for N’s sake, not ours, and I enjoyed watching N enjoy it. Her eyes lit up and she laughed and pointed and “Uh-Oh”-ed and commented.

I feel like I’m surviving on coffee. Coffee and a protein shake. I’m so hungry I’m not even hungry anymore, I’m not sure if you get that. The plus side is without much food in the system, medicines work fast and well. That little Ambien last night had me drowsy in 10 minutes… Ahhh, sleep. I’ve never had a problem sleeping until recently. And sleeping with a mask is not easy, either.

I realize a lot of people have no idea what I’m talking about. For some reason, I forgot to explain that part. I am getting the Lap Band. It is not gastric bypass. It is a removable, reversible, and adjustable band that goes around the upper part of the stomach. It creates a new much smaller pouch that allows you to eat very very little and feel satiated for a much longer time. It is not the magic bullet. It is a tool. I will still have to eat healthy, exercise, and work on my psychological needs for food, although physiologically I will feel full. I have no idea what to expect in weight loss and how fast. Everyone is different. My goal is to be a healthy BMI (Body Mass Index). Hopefully, as I lose weight, my health conditions will improve. Keep in mind I have a BMI now of 56.

The Pre-Op Oops

I just realized last night I made a big mistake. I misunderstood that the pre-op diet was an Atkins-like diet just with more protein shakes. WRONG! It is a LIQUID PROTEIN diet. As in no cheese and ham and tons of meat, and especially not a bag of fried chicken wings like I’ve eaten this week!! I realized when I was explaining the diet to a friend last night and as I was reading out of the great manual they’ve given me, that it was LIQUIDS only. OOPS. Oh well. Today I’ve been on liquids only, and it hasn’t been so bad because I’ve already weaned myself off the carbs. So I wasn’t feeling so hungry anymore anyway. I hope that in the next three days I’m able to catch up what I didn’t do the last 4 days and that I’m able to shrink my liver enough to give the surgeon enough space to do the operation.

I have been remiss with the exercise. I have not walked 15 minutes every day. But that too I hope to start soon. I am already a little anxious about the waiting. I want it to be Wednesday and in the OR already. Tomorrow we take N to see Finding Nemo On Ice. Her first ever! I am excited for her, although she doesn’t even understand we’re taking her. I know once the show starts she will love it: the lights, the costumes, the music, the dancing. I hope to take lots of pictures.

Some people have asked me if I am nervous about the operation. Not really. I wanted it done yesterday. But I know the minute I step into the hospital and I’m sitting on the bed in my hospital gown, I will panic. I will make jokes with the nurses, I will make faces, it will be all very humorous, but I will panic. I will be completely panicked until the sedation begins, then I will willingly give in to the sleepiness with no reservations and will just feel relieved that I’m going going gone.

The Pre-Op Diet

This pre-op diet is killing me!!! Yesterday morning was okay, but at about 2 pm, I started getting migraines. Ahhhh! The pain was intense. It just got worse and worse. I had to go lay down at around 5:30 pm and poor A had to deal with N by himself. I had to get up at 7:30 pm to have the rest of my protein, and the pain was unbearable. I was getting nausea from the pain. I really think it was withdrawal from carbs. The diet consists of more than 70 grams of protein, via protein shakes and powders, and less than 50 grams of carbs. It may sound like a lot, but 50 gr of carbs are nothing. In fact, a cup of soymilk has 10 grams! When you add the protein powder, that’s about 14 grams right there. So I supplemented with cheddar cheese, mozzarella, ham, prosciutto, and shrimp. A bit decadent, no??

I felt handicapped by these migraines. What finally took the edge off was 2 regular Tylenol, 2 Tylenol PMs, and an Ambien. That’s how I was able to get to sleep and some respite from the pain. But I was crying already from the pain.

So this morning, when N got up at 5:30 am crying, I couldn’t take care of her, the sleeping pills were still in my body. Somehow A got me out of bed to comb her hair, which I vaguely remember putting a barrette to the side of the hair while she brushed her teeth. I think.

This morning I awoke with no pain. Yet. I’m very weak and I find it hard to concentrate. All I want to do is lay in bed. But I am not giving up on this diet!! This diet is designed to shrink my organs, especially my liver, to make the operation safer and more effective. The liver is lying right on top of my stomach where they need to work, so this diet shrinks it by 1/3. If not, they could nick my liver, putting me in danger of losing part of it and internal bleeding. It is also to prepare me physically and emotionally for what’s to come. More on that later…
I hope this is the last Valentine’s day I will ever live through at this weight. I hope to be at least 50-75 lbs lighter by next year…

The Pre-Op Appointment

Well, I did it. Everything got done. I went to Dr. Yang, my primary doctor, and got the operation cleared through him. He wrote the letter and sent my blood tests to Dr. Pinnar.

Today was the pre-operation appt with Dr. Pinnar. I received a “manual” with everything I needed to know before, during, and after the operation. The manual is very upfront about everything, about the NECESSARY changes I need to make, which are NOT optional if I don’t want to be throwing up my food all day and go to the hospital for dehydration. It was very specific, with specific brands of protein listed, websites or stores that sell them, how much to take, shopping lists, chewing exercises, everything. The RN Sue, a very special person to me, talked it over about what to expect, and I asked questions about pain management. Bottom line: take the damn meds if you need them for a few days, and the faster you walk around the faster you heal. The more protein you take, the better you heal. Then Dr. Pinnar saw me one last time, took before pictures (I smiled my ass off, I was so happy!!!), took my weight, and told me I was ready to start the Pre-op diet Feb 13, and operation FEBRUARY 20th!!!!! YES!!!!

I went to Costco and Trader Joe’s and bought some protein shakes and soups and supplies. But I have to write a good shopping list of things I need.