All about Normal...

I'm normal, now.

Which means I think I'm a normal size. I can go to almost any store now and find clothes that fit. Well, almost. I still don't see myself as normal, I see myself buying "normal people" sized clothes, almost like I'm an impostor. Like it's not meant for me. I spent so many years begging anything to fit. Now things fit, and it's a matter of finding what looks good.

The biggest change? There's nothing in my closet that fit me last year. Even my underwear are too big. I had to go buy underwear that fit. And pajamas. I had to buy pajamas, size M, SIZE M!!! Even the shoes from last year are too big.

But in my head, I still think I see people looking at me like I'm the "fat girl." It's like I keep waiting for the gig to be up, for the skinny suit to fall off and someone say, "Ha! Just joking! You don't get to be normal any more! Back to your old fat ass!"

I don't know what I see anymore in the mirror. It's like I've changed, but I haven't. Meh. I need a break from it all.

I suppose I'm being ungrateful by complaining. I mean, what a problem to have, all my clothes are too big. Poor me. But believe me, I've done miracles, MIRACLES, to keep myself together throughout this whole process. And keep everything together at home. It's not been easy, my friends. But you know what? I wouldn't change a thing. I'm glad I'm here.