The Cheese, Oh!, the Cheese

10 weeks!

My oven has never been so clean!  I got up Saturday with so much energy, as opposed to dragging all day every other day, that I cleaned the oven bottom.  Then the oven glass.  Then the oven grill.  I was a cleaning machine!  I scrubbed, scraped, and buffed out every speck of remains out of that oven.  It took me a few hours, and I STILL had enough energy to put a load of wash in, scrub N's hair, and get ready for a party.  Which we didn't make because our car wouldn't start.  :/

Lately, my cravings have been more noticeable.  I'm not a huge Mexican food fan, but the combination of ground beef, refried beans, cheese, sour cream, and avocados makes my mouth water.  Something about all that soft food going together...  MMMmmmm.  SO craving it now.  And tempura rolls, some of the few rolls I can have.

And ever since December, breakfast has to be arepas made from white masarepa flour with yellow cheese (cheddar or colby).  YELLOW cheese, you hear?!?  Not white cheddar, not gouda, YELLOW.  This craving for yellow cheese is killing me here.  I get it from our small store here at work where they get military commissary items, but they run out.  And then I go a little nuts.  Yesterday I ran all over the city looking for any kind of yellow cheese, and no luck.  Tried the local supermarket deli, tried the English market, even tried the gourmet tourist trap Saluhallen with 10 different deli counters, and I finally came to the monochromatic realization: most if not all the cheese I found here is white.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the cheese in Europe.  I love cheese period, but yes, cheese here is wonderful.  I just have a craving once in a while for yellow cheddar or colby, it melts different.  Look, I know the cheese is not naturally yellow (or orange), and it's just added coloring, but I'm just salivating for it.

Which brings me to another topic, that everything that goes in, has to come out.  Generally.  The constipation  these last several weeks has been, well, nothing short of painful.  Just the thought of going to the restroom brought tears to my eyes.  And yes, I've tried several remedies: kiwis, yogurt, muesli, coffee, oranges, water, fiber tablets...  I'm hoping last night was the turning point.  It was the first time in a very long time I didn't suffer through the process.

So maybe, just maybe, if I'm getting my energy back, and the constipation may be getting better, maybe this is the beginning of that "middle" trimester where things sail by easier, when your body isn't so out of whack.  One can hope?!?

A little less full

It's hard not to compare pregnancies and find similarities and differences.  For me, the early symptoms were the same.  This time around, though, the constipation, that feeling of low blood sugar, and the heaviness feel a lot worse.  Sadly, I think after almost 8 years, I've probably forgotten or blocked out what it was like.

One good thing is that I feel in much better physical shape than I did for N.  My weight is further down and my sugar levels very near normal.  And for the latter reason, I feel the sugar lows a lot more often this time around.  I notice in the morning especially that if I sleep in, I get a little queasier because of lack of food.  And the times I've taken the bus with something in my stomach I definitely feel less queasy than when I go on an empty stomach.

One big difference from the last time is that this time, well, I'm going through this pregnancy with a lap band.  It does throw some complications into the mix, as well as my diabetes, but I think it will actually help rather than hinder the process.

Lately though, I've been feeling, well, it's hard to describe, but I guess it's "tight."  Stomach acid comes up a bit at night, funny taste in the mouth keeping me from drinking water, difficulty getting food down, not eating enough made me suspect I needed my band to be a bit looser.  So I went in today to my bariatric doctor here and explained what I wanted to do:  loosen it so I could feel comfortable and eat properly, but not too loose I would gain too much wait or lose control of my diabetes.  So folks, that was the most relieving .9 cc (.9 mL) I've ever taken out of my body!

I realized I was dehydrated because I immediately gulped down 4 glasses of water.  I think this was a good decision already!  I can even breathe easier!

The Birthday Post

Happy Birthday to me!  At my age, a first: knocked up for my birthday.  Today was my first appt in the Swedish Prenatal Healthcare world, and I was less than blown away.  The pro?  A cute sonogram pic finally!!

Look at this, so clear and, BIG!

Diabetes makes this a "high risk pregnancy."  With today's technology, it is perfectly manageable and treatable, with biweekly monitoring visits, insulin therapy, and insulin dosage adjustments.  Something I have yet to find here locally.  Swedish prenatal healthcare relies heavily if not exclusively on highly regulated and educated midwifery.  Which is fine for about 90-95% of pregnancies.

Obstetricians are rarely seen, maybe once during your whole pregnancy (even if you WANT to see them!) and I suspect they only step in when C-sections or other "complications" arise.  Although I have heard they have midwives here that deal with diabetics, I have yet to be seen by one.  In fact, I seem to have come across a "meh"-no-one seems-to-care-much-no-one-is-concerned attitude here.  I wasn't recommended to take prenatal vitamins, no one asked me the date of my last menstrual period, no one asked me about my medical history, no one looked at the 20+ blood tests I've already had done, no one cared to look at my blood glucose log, and my next appt is in two weeks, two weeks with absolutely no glucose level monitoring or treatment.

Really??  I understand prenatal care is different the world over, I do.  But my gut tells me this is not right and I should be better monitored.  So, I'm pushing for better care.  I'm going through the nurse here who is trying really hard to help me, and I intend to be a pain in the butt to the healthcare workers here until I get the proper treatment.  I'm hoping next week the nurse will find a better practice or at least give this hospital prenatal unit an earful (Danderyd, in case you are wondering).

I'm trying very hard to not be med-evac'ed out of here like I was out of Athens with N.  I want to make it here until early June.  Our plans are to return to DC in June for two years.

But we all know what Life thinks about "plans."  :)

20% Baby Loaded!

8 Weeks = 20% complete!  Based on a 40 week pregnancy of course.  Today is the day we chose to "come out of the closet" with the news to most of our friends and family, and this is the pic we used.

There is always the fear that coming out with the news too early could cause more grief if something were to happen during the pregnancy.  Risks are greater in the first trimester.  I'd like to think that I would have a greater support network if something were to happen if my friends and family are aware of what's going on.  But let's hope for the best.

Not my best shot; jet-lagged, after a full day of work, tired from the first weeks of pregnancy, hungry.

My first suspicions something was up came December 17th.  I was three days late, and my breasts were very tender.  We were leaving for PR early the next morning and I was packing.  I was wondering if I should pack feminine hygiene products for the plane when on a whim I took a home pregnancy test I had lying around.  O-M-G.  I yelled for A immediately because I couldn't trust my eyes.  "Do you see what I see?  How do you interpret that?"  I think both of our chins hit the floor.  I jumped on the computer and googled "false positives" and learned that if a test was expired, it COULD give you a false positive.  So I pushed A out the door to visit our closest pharmacy here in Stockholm and get me some new ones.  The tender breasts were an early symptom for N as well, so I feared it was accurate.

Two more positive tests later, I still was trying to rationalize any other reasons for abnormal hcG levels. I knew it was extremely early on, and was fearful that it just was TOO early to fully accept it.  I mean, a million things could happen: ectopic pregnancy, an empty yolk sac, a medical condition in my uterus, an early but passing pregnancy.  The reality is that at my age, you learn to be cautious.

While in PR, I tried first one doctor (horrible experience after waiting hours and hours in a too full room) and then another (this one at the much snootier Ashford).  All in all, in PR I ended up getting at least 4 sonograms!  The first one, at what I estimate was around 5 weeks, showed only a thickening of the endometrium, a POSSIBLE sign.  The second at around week 6, showed a sac but no fetus yet.  The third a week later showed a small fetus, AND A HEARTBEAT!  A few days later, the fetus was very clear and consistent with my projected date.  Once I saw the fetus and heard the heartbeat, I was able to accept that this was really happening to me again!

Most of my friends have asked me about N's reaction to the news, if she knows it.  Yes.  We decided to tell her early on because talking about it around her was going to be a challenge.  So we sat her down, just A and I, and explained that I was pregnant and was growing a baby.  Her reaction was NOT what we expected.  She started jumping up and down and yelling "You're PREGNANT?!?  You're really Pregnant?!?  I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!  You're pregnant!!!  WOW!!!"  The excitement was spontaneous and sincere!  A gave her a small gold pendant with "Big Sister" on it and it really touched her.  I think we are breaking it to her in a way that she feels included, part of the process, and informed.  But her first words of advice to me were, Mom, no alcohol for you!  And no coffee, because what you eat and drink the baby eats and drinks.  Where did she learn this??

While on vacation in PR, she found my first ultrasound photos, the one with no fetus, just a thickening of the tissue.  In her infinite wisdom, she thought they were photos of the baby, and she carefully laid them on the pillow next to her, and fell asleep next to them.  It was touching and special to see!

Perhaps her cutest reaction was when this week she came up to me with wide eyes and said "Mami, you know you have TWO hearts beating inside of you??  You have YOUR heart, and the BABY'S heart.  WOW..."  I think she's fascinated by the whole anatomical function of pregnancy: where the fetus is exactly, how does it eat, does it poop and pee, etc.  I ordered some books for her that I hope will give her more information she'll ever need.

I think what I'm really looking forward to most this time is sharing this experience with N.  I think it will give us an opportunity to talk about what her role can be/will be, to answer questions about our bodies, to give her the opportunity to show empathy, to pick things out together (she wants to pick out the baby's first toy, and she will!).

Surprise!

Well, well, well.  So I didn't think it could surprise me like this, an experienced older woman wise in the ways of the world.  HA!  Life has a way of kicking you in the arse.

Yep, we're pregnant.  Believe me, 3 home tests later I was still doubtful, but by now, well, the evidence is overwhelming.  We have a bun in the over which we are affectionately calling "mocoso."  Loosely translated, it's little snot.  Or mucous little snot.  N was originally a variation of that, "moquillo", which in the limited English language is also little snot.

It's hard not to draw comparisons between this time around and last, when we were cooking N.  I think I'm in better shape, I'm more experienced, and I know what to expect.  I thought somehow we found out sooner this time around, but I went back to read my blog about N's pregnancy, and it seems we found out at about the same exact time!  Between 5 and 6 weeks.

I was fascinated reading my whole experience from start to finish, and I'm glad I kept a blog when it was still kind of new (before FB!  Imagine that!).  I thought you might be interested too reading about my first time being pregnant back in 2005.  So here's the link: http://bebecorrea.blogspot.com

Wow, 2005!  Was it that long ago??  It's almost 8 years later (N is 7 now!), and sometimes I FEEL 8 years older.  I have to admit I have mixed feelings about this.  It was not planned, expected, etc, so it really threw us for a loop, but now we are kind of hyped about it.  And we keep thinking ahead to the sleepless nights, the endless diapers, the constant vigilance, and I know we're both thinking, "Aren't we supposed to be relaxing on a Friday night with a good movie and a glass of wine at this stage of our life?"

No, I guess not, that's not what Life had in store for us I guess.  Welcome Mocoso!